This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
