at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
