i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
