I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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