You're so nebulous sometimes
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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