wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
