I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
