I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
