just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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