just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Randomize
