I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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