His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
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My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
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the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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