there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
