Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
