does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
