All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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