God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Randomize
