Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I lost the right to judge tonight
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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