My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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