She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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