i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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