i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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