Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
