I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
