Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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