ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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