I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
