Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I want her autograph on my taint
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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