Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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