Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
