shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
