Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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