White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wish i was in the wii world.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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