so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
