so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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