YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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