the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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