last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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