Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
