I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
accomplished twins. life is a go
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
