Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
