I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
This is my gift to your gina
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
