six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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