i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
