I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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