wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
