why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize