happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
