everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
