I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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