erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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