I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
