My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you will always have a special place in my vag
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
