How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
