i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
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You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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