brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
